Books and Articles
Wisdom from the written word
Whether you're into long form books, short articles, or poetry, there's a world of reading to turn to for inspiration. Check out the Web Resources page for more links to online publishing. These won't all be what you're after but may spark some interest in further research or put you in mind of something that you remember being meaningful to you.
The Dorothy Butler Children's Bookshop
Whatever the challenges facing your family, there's a book out there somewhere for you and your kids. The amazing team at the Dorothy Butler Children's Bookshop in Auckland will be able to help you find the best books written with you and your family in mind. And, yes, they'll deliver.
Retelling the Stories of Our Lives
"Why leave therapy to the therapists?" is a question I find myself asking a lot (and one you may see very often on this site). This book is built on ideas from the world of Narrative Therapy and unpacks them in in a way that might be useful to anybody. A great introduction to finding curious questions that might unearth new, untold stories.
The Mother's Voice
I absolutely love this book. If I could give a copy to every Mum I meet, I definitely would. Which means it's probably also an excellent read for anyone who has a Mum or supports a Mum or wants to know more about parenting in general. Kathy Weingarten is one of my favourite writers in the world of therapy. Seek out more of her work for warm-hearted, encouraging inspiration.
Raising Boys
Steve Biddulph's book has been around for a while now, helping parents of boys with some insights into how our young men are developing and growing, and what we can do to help them. It's a bit outdated on gender and sexuality for my taste (there is a newer edition that I haven't read, so that may have changed), but is accessible and readable with good links to the science where the author gets his information.
He'll Be OK
Celia Lashlie is a name that will hopefully ring bells with anyone invested in social justice in New Zealand. If you haven't heard of her, do look her up - her work was extraordinary. This long form project resulted in a book that has no founding in science whatsoever but is heartfelt and contains wisdom straight from the mouths of our boys about what it's like to grow through those difficult teen years.
Buddhism for Mothers
Subtitled "a calm approach to caring for yourself and your children", you really don't need to be Buddhist to get a whole lot of insight from this one. People often forget that the whole new and interesting trend we're experiencing with the rising popularity of mindfulness is actually an ancient Buddhist practice that has been commonplace in that tradition for centuries. As with anything, take what you find useful and leave what you don't. Simple.
The Little Prince
If there's a more beautiful and elegantly written book for children that covers all the big stuff, I don't know it. This classic should be on every family's bookshelf, I think. We grownups too easily forget the perspective of a child - I hope I can always be someone who sees the snake that swallowed an elephant rather than a hat.
The Velveteen Rabbit
Written for young children but with a message that resonates across generations. Keep this one close for reminding yourself and your little ones what it means to be real.
The Brothers Lionheart
This classic children's book gives us a beautiful and moving story of brotherhood. Siblings at war seems to be an all-too-common theme. Bring this one off the shelf for some inspiration on being a great big/little brother. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe is another classic with some great sibling stuff to get the brothers and sisters in your family talking about their special connection.
Living with IT
Has panic or anxiety come visiting with your family? Living with IT might offer some ideas about how to get by with new houseguest around.
Mindful Games
Mindfulness is the big new shiny toy in therapeutic circles. Everybody's doing it, everybody's loving it and there are loads of ways into mindfulness practices for us all, no matter what our background or point of interest. There's mindfulness for careers, for women/men, for dog owners - you name it, someone had written a mindfulness text about it. This one is particularly for families and comes from the same people behind the Stop, Breathe, Think website (find more about that on the web resources page). Mindfulness may not be for everyone and there is some work exploring what might have been overlooked in our rush to make the practice our new silver bullet. Critical thinking is always useful and it's good to carefully assess every resource before deciding if it is for you.
Playful Approaches to Serious Problems
This one is a key text from Narrative Therapy. It's essentially written for therapists but there's no rule that says nobody else can read it. This is actually a really good thing to remember - lots of things that look like they're written only for professionals may have really interesting insights for you. Give them a try. The title gives away what it's all about. Imagination, play and creativity are cornerstones of being able to communicate well with kids. As well as this, also check out Narrative Therapy in Wonderland. I like it even more than Playful Approaches.
Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids
This book is based on the principles of Nonviolent Communication and the work of Marshall Rosenberg. Check out the web resources page of this site for more NVC - it's awesome. There's a new paradigm coming forward in the way in which we interact with young peopleand NVC is beautifully aligned with that. It can be long, slow work (it takes time to explain yourself, rather than dominate) but the results are irrefutable and SO worth it.
The Art of Screen Time
Screen time is an issue that can be polarising, confusing, frustrating - as parents, we are navigating a world even our own parents couldn't have predicted. There are lots of book that have light to shed on this. This one by Anya Kamenetz is a good place to start (Anya is one of the hosts on NPR's brilliant parenting podcasts on Life Kit - more about that on the web resources page). Also check out Screenwise by Devorah Heitner, and follow the work of Jenny Radesky, who advises the American Academy of Pediatrics on their guidelines for media consumption and young people. Common Sense Media is another great place to find reviews on any kind of media your kids are looking to consume (and the site has good links to other parenting sites of interest).